What is most important for you (me) in life?
Do you (I) have a pecking order of principles/goals/ideals/morals?
How do I make decisions?
This is where it would help to know my own guiding principles, and perhaps having those life guidelines written down somewhere would be useful too, right? But I’m not lingering here on my deficiencies – like how I have difficulty in keeping promises to myself, and how lazy I am. I know this already.
Knowing, and being aware of my priorities is usually easy., umm..I think. But maintaining the effort it takes to stay strict with myself is wherein the problem lies.
Is making a decision because of money a bad thing? No, right? Or is it?
How about if I am in a position to help a friend? By taking less money.
If the amount of money is not significantly bigger than what I want (give me this, give me that..) then whats the difference between the two choices? It’s me.
I would feel like a dick if I asked for more, to do the same job I did before. Why?
Why would I feel bad for asking for more?
Am I worth it? Yes.
So why feel bad?
Because if I really wanted to help him – I do – then the money shouldn’t matter.
I say I want to help people. I tell myself I want to elevate the people around me.
Here is an opportunity, also advantageous for me, beyond the good I would feel (sort of) for helping him.
If there is any part of me that thinks this is a bad idea, it’s the little pain-in-the-ass devil on my shoulder.
There goes one day!( …. more or less….not really, just 9-4…..) the little red devil would whisper in honeyed tones to my hairy ear lobe.
So I guess I have reached my decision.
Or have I….? Shit, I don’t know now.
I’m gonna have to figure this out later.
Where do they lie…?